Mind you, after turning her away to go handle it herself, I do supervise and listen in on her so I can tell whether or not she actually applies the conflict resolution tips she's been given. Don't underestimate their comprehension skills lol. Its important to reinterate to them that serial-tattling can result in a kid-who-cried-wolf effect: If you come to me for every petty thing, then it's hard to ever take you seriouslyĮven a 5yo can grasp this logic. Imo serial-tattlers are seeking attention and need guidance to develop their social skills. This is my way of showing I care while also conferring useful tools to her for independence. She's not allowed to whine for attention, I always make her use words, respectful words at that. I told her that if something is urgent, like someone is in danger, she needs to use her words to communicate that urgency. We've already covered topics about bodily autonomy, self-defense, and conflict resolution. Other times, like if she's repeatedly coming to tattle, I'll firmly remind her to consider how urgent or important the matter is, and that I trust her to use her own good judgement. If she can't on her own we brainstorm together. That gratitude will last long into adulthood.When my 5 yo approaches me to tattle on her sis, I ask her to think of ways to resolve the situation peacably. Employ consequences for tattling, separate your kids on occasion, and instill gratitude in them for each other. Carve out weekly time for an activity that feels restorative for you.Īgain, I want to emphasize the tattling phase won’t last forever even though it feels like it will. Drop the kids off somewhere, leave them with your husband, go for a walk, meet up with friends. Get it back! Take breaks when you’re able. Tattling kids and policing every little thing is sucking up a lot of your time and energy. Even being apart for one day can make them feel differently about each other when they get home.ĭon’t forget to take some time for yourself. For example, have one of them go to soccer day camp and the other art camp. Separate your two oldest children from time to time. Simple compliments like that will help instill gratitude in your children for each other, making them less prone to tattle on each other for small behaviors. Or, you’re really good at throwing a ball. Have each child say something nice about the other such as, I like that you played with me yesterday. Make your children say nice things to each other.Īt the dinner table, start a habit of saying nice things about each other. Make sure he knows the difference between dangerous behaviors that require your help and small, inconsequential behaviors that aren’t his job to police. Take away his iPad or implement another consequence you know would work for him. The obsession with tattling will pass, but in the meantime, here are a few things you can do for your own sanity.įocusing on your nine-year-old, tell him there will be consequences if he tattles on his brothers for small things. It sounds like your oldest simply has a bossy side to his personality and is probably going through a phase. It’s like having more than one mom in the house and nobody needs more than one mom disciplining their kids.
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